Can’t Do It All.
I keep apologizing for my blog silence, but at the moment, there’s not really anything that I can do about it.
I try not to let my personal life bleed over too much into the blog, and for good reason. Ostensibly, this blog is about the stuff that I make, my crafting and artistic contribution to the world. It’s also a community, where people are held together by these common threads. (Haha see what I did there? “Common threads.” I kill me.) However, I think that sometimes there’s a temptation to put a self out on the internet that, while it may not be inaccurate, isn’t complete. And you know? I think that’s okay. The internet gives people the opportunity to be their best selves as well as their worst selves, and the people who decide to be the former rather than the latter have my respect.
What I’m trying to say, is that I think that’s been the motivation for me to keep certain parts of my life secret, and while I do believe that some things should never be posted online, I have decided to disclose some things about my life so that I can stop feeling like I need to apologize for not posting often enough. In fact, it isn’t because I’m super lazy :P
Sometime in the next couple of months, I’m going to be unemployed. I’ve been spending the summer trying to find a new job, and I was thinking that with my qualifications (which, not to be braggy, are excellent) it wouldn’t be as difficult as it has turned out to be. I have been looking for the entire summer, and I have only had a single job interview. I have sent my resume to countless places, and I have received a few polite rejections, but mostly it’s just silence. I do psychology research, which means that most of our work is funded by the National Institute of Health. And they’re putting through hardly any grants right now. It sucks, and it’s scary, because I’m 22 years old and I had been given to understand that I would have a job for the next two years, and now my bosses are unable to honor that commitment because there’s no funding. I’m great at what I do, and all my patients love me, even the ones that don’t like anyone else. (We have a few extremely grumpy people. I always bring them around.) I’m not trying to toot my own horn here. My point is that I have worked hard to get as good as I possibly can be at my job. I spent my four years of college and the last year of working full time developing skills that I thought would make it easy for me to find work doing something that I love. I’ve found out that all of that wasn’t enough, and I’m scared that I’m not going to be able to find a job before I’m out of a job.
All this goes to say is that if I don’t update the blog for a while? I’m writing cover letters. (ick.) And I can live with that. I’m going to try to stop feeling guilty about not being perfect at everything. And I’ll still update when I can, because this level of stress is requiring a great deal of knitting, though I’m pretty sure that my gauge is going to be waaaaay off.
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